You’re far away tonight

by

Nina Nesbitt & Kodaline – Hold You

It’s been a while. Another year has passed.

Life goes on, it’s been busy. Work and research and life.

Deep thoughts, people, things. All the changes, man. Life’s a never ending cycle of change.

I’m glad to have met you.

Oh wow. It’s been seven years of writing here.

Cos the very thing that makes you, could be the thing that breaks you

by

Passenger – The One You Love

I think i know why i have always been living in my own world.

I guess it’s just an escape from the problems in my environment. It’s probably just my way of dealing with things, a really bad way of dealing with things, but it keeps me sane nonetheless.

Man, i fucking hate dealing with this shit.

Grow the fuck up, kids. Grow the fuck up.

only heaven i’ll be sent to, is when i’m alone with you

by

Ed Sheeran – Take Me to Church (Hozier Cover)

Hello there stranger.

I’ve been trying to learn to be nice for the sake of being nice. No expectations, no hidden meanings.

It’s been hard. It’s really hard. To break out of the selfish mold that everyone is born into. I really wonder how some people really do it. It’s insane, it’s crazy, it’s mad.

But i’ll keep trying.

–

Lately, i’ve been thinking about people and relationships. Not just the romantic kind. It’s a complicated world out there, huh?

If only everyone could wear their hearts on their sleeves and show what they mean instead of keeping it in their thoughts.

–

Songs and thoughts with you really made my day.

I think i seek deep, personal conversations with people, instead of the superficial ones. Thoughts, ideas and feelings instead of words, actions and things. How do you strike up a conversation like that?

Since you’re gone, I’ve been watching paint dry

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George Ezra – Song 6

I coated my house all in white
I got my paints, I haven’t spend a night
on every inch your name I wrote, oh.

Since you’re gone I’ve been watching paint dry
Since you’re gone I’ve been watching paint dry
Since you’re gone I’ve been watching paint dry
Since you’re gone I’ve been watching paint dry

Modern office buildings are chasing the sun
and the wind is racing after the day.
And everybody is chasing the beauty the don’t have and I, oh I, I’m chasing you.

The raindrops keep falling searching for a home,
my televison’s grasping for air.
And everybody is seraching, searching for a reason, but I, oh I’m, searching for you.

We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.
We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.

The militant commuters come waiting for their train
in the longest Bavarian night.
And everybody’s waiting, wating for the sunrise and I, oh I’m, waiting for you.

We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.
We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.
We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.
We are only dreaming and I’m dreaming only of you.

So enamored, so charmed. This is how living life is supposed to be right? Doing what you want, because you really want it.

What if your actions don’t create the replies you seeked?

Barcelona, I still long to hold her once more

by

George Ezra – Barcelona

It’s the end of week 4. And whelp. I’m tired.

The amount of work in the past week really drained me. So many assignments, so little time. It didn’t help that for most of the weekend, friday, saturday included, the braindrain was so incredible that no words were flowing off the top of my head. Nothing came forth when i called my brain to it.

Sometimes, i wonder if i’m trying to ask too much of myself. Working on a potentially unknown FYP with no proper background and stuff really feels quite scary. Yet, i know i need to scare myself into something greater, because settling into a known environment makes me complacent as heck and limits my growth and pursuit of knowledge.

Yet, sometimes, the amount of work seems to get to me. I hope this was just a bad week and that things will get better.

I miss the long random drunk discussions; they spark off so many thoughts, so many ideas that shed light into so many unknowns. It’s pretty amazing. The whole vibe of the One Night Stand x Edible Garden pop up was amazing. Their motivations, their thoughts, the work that goes into the whole thing really felt quite incredible. It was great soaking in the atmosphere and just taking a chill in the middle of the day.

Time to recharge, and get going again. The tide waits for no one, so apt in this case.

give me one good reason why i should never make a change

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George Ezra – Budapest

Priorities.

Things, interests, people, work.

It’s all a system of priorities, a hierarchy. It all depends on where each element stands in line with others.

I think my priorities have been shifting recently. Some things just don’t seem worth the time and effort to set right anymore. Some other things seem overwhelmingly important. It’s funny how things change.

I think myself as a priority has been shifting too. Inevitable, but sad. It’s disappointing when the people you place as your priority, place you as an option instead.

Life.

We should run through the forest, we should swim in the streams

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Passenger – Scare Away the Dark

It’s been a LONG time since i have had anything much to say. But yes, this shall be an attempt to collect my thoughts before my flight.

It’s a mere 16 days to D-Day. A span of slightly longer than two weeks, with a huge long to do list to complete before then. So many worries left here and so much to do before the flight. It scares me a little, at the enormity of the situation at hand. BES committee, Petai trail, the Marina Project, and so much more.

I need to focus, and start doing things one at a time, instead of taking up everything and worrying about it later.

It strikes me the most actually, that i happen to be so damned calm about this whole SEP experience. It’s slightly longer than four months, spent at a foreign land, that i’ve literally never been exposed to. It will be incredible and it will be an overwhelming experience; that is for sure.

Yet, while everyone speaks of homesickness and missing things here and there, i’m just left here, not knowing what to feel and what to say. I think it’s true that i won’t be missing much of Singapore, while i’m overseas. But what do i know now, really?

It scares me that i’m not scared of being completely alone on this journey. Yes, there are two others going to the same university as me, but how do you get close to people you’ve never known about your whole life, in just a short period of time to trust them enough? I have no idea. For the most of the journey, i picture myself alone, with acquaintances that flit in and out of route. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ll be writing everything in a journal, which i could hopefully publish here. Snippets of my journey and my thoughts on it. The people, the places and the things that strike me the most.

Here’s cheers to a good journey ahead.